Swift Hare
by Joe Ekaitis
Summary: Bugs Bunny takes the place of Lemuel Gulliver and finds himself shipwrecked in Lilliput, which is now populated with miniature Looney Tunes characters.


# "SWIFT HARE"

[_**by Joe Ekaitis**_][1]

_(not affiliated with Warner Bros.)_

After his ship goes down in a raging storm, sailor Lemuel "Bugs" Gulliver regains consciousness on a deserted beach. Hoping that everyone else in the crew gets to dry land safely, Bugs begins to explore his surroundings. He trips and falls on what he thinks is an oddly constructed roller skate which is really a farmer's cart. Famished, he mistakes a grove of tiny trees for a carrot patch. Pulling one of the "carrots" out of the ground, he chomps into it and spits out a mouthful of clothespins. As he inspects the "carrot" stub, a tiny voice orders "Suwwender, giant!". The voice belongs to the half-inch tall Captain of the Royal Guard of Lilliput, Elmer Fudd. Hearing the word "giant", Bugs flattens to the ground for cover. "No funny stuff, giant!" says the voice. The tiny Elmer draws a tiny sword and stabs Bugs's toe. Bugs leaps to his feet and when Elmer stabs his OTHER foot, Bugs sits down to tend to 2 painful toes. Elmer climbs up on Bugs's nose and orders "Come peacefully, giant, or I'll have to use force!". When Bugs asks "You and what army, Doc?", he is mobbed by a swarm of tiny soldiers who tie him to a cart drawn by 4 horses. Bugs rolls his eyes toward the viewer and quips "When am I gonna learn to keep my big mouth shut?"  
Bugs is wheeled through the streets of Lilliput, which is populated by other tiny Looney Tunes characters. Tweety Bird, wearing an apron and sweeping the sidewalk in front of a fish market, gestures to someone inside the market. Sylvester the Cat, also wearing an apron and holding a small fish by the tail, pokes his head out the door and they both watch the giant rabbit pass by. Barber Wile E. Coyote and his customer the Road Runner also pause to see what's going on. The procession passes a public commons where Foghorn Leghorn and Barnyard Dog are playing chess. While Barnyard Dog is distracted by the passing spectacle, Foghorn moves the pieces around on the chess board and announces "Checkmate!" when Barnyard Dog turns his attention back to the game. Bugs is drawn into the castle of His Royal Highness, King (Yosemite) Sam of Lilliput. Surrounded by an army of crossbow archers under the command of Daffy Duck, Bugs is freed from his rope bonds and ordered to "Stand before the King!" Still sitting on the tiny cart, Bugs notices that his head is only a few inches from the ceiling. He looks toward the viewer, shrugs and begins to rise to his full standing height. The roof of the castle begins to bulge and one of the guard towers collapses as Bugs emerges through the roof . "Sit down, you overgrown varmint!" orders King Sam. The Royal Page is summoned to read the charges against Bugs. The Tasmanian Devil, wearing a powdered wig, a wide-brimmed hat with a large feather in its band, a ceremonial sword and a beauty mark on his face, struts out and unrolls a scroll. He reads the charges in unintelligible gibberish while pantomiming the actions of a giant demolishing a town. Accused of being being sent to destroy Lilliput, Bugs is ordered to sign a confession of guilt. When he balks and threatens to leave via the hole he made in the castle roof ("Uh, excuse me, Doc, but I refuse to answer any of the charges until I come back with my attorney"), Daffy gives the command for the archers to fire. Their tiny arrows have no effect, so Elmer wheels in a tiny lighted cannon. Bugs laughs heartily as he picks it up and holds it mere inches from his face. The cannon explodes like an atom bomb and Bugs, now blackened from the ears to his waist, is momentarily stunned. He shakes off the effects of the blast and leaps through the hole in the roof.  
As he bounds through the streets of Lilliput, he leaps over buildings to get away. He lands behind the town hall, but his ears betray his hiding place. Elmer wheels in another of the tiny cannons, and Bugs is blown from his hiding place sideways. After 2 more such encounters with Elmer's tiny cannons, Bugs realizes that his ears are giving him away, so he ducks behind another row of buildings and pulls his ears down by the side of his face. Elmer wheels another cannon right up against the only visible part of Bugs's anatomy: his tail. When the cannon goes off, Bugs flies into the air again, landing on his back. Once more, Elmer's tiny army swarms over him and he tries to fight them off. The image dissolves to Bugs now dressed in beach attire with a book covering his face as he continues to fight off the invisible army. The title of the book is, of course, "Gulliver's Travels" and Bugs is relieved to find out it was only a dream until. . . .Bugs catches sight of the roof of a tiny castle. It's all he needs to leap to his feet and run wildly down the beach past other Looney Tunes characters who are also dressed for a day at the beach and who are the same size as Bugs. They are all working in pairs on miniature sand buildings, literally creating Lilliput at the water's edge. Back at the tiny castle, we see a normal-sized Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam, who are building the very detailed sand castle that Bugs has just seen. Elmer says to Sam "Now, what do you suppose got into that scwewy wabbit?" Iris out. "That's All Folks!"

  
[][2]

[Looney Tunes Larger Than Life!][2]

   [1]: mailto:JoeEkaitis@anthro-animal-art.com
   [2]: http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/JoeEkaitis/looney.htm



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